sekiharatae: (AAAAARG)
[Poll #1784008]

I was reading reviews on Amazon, and someone quoted this sentence from Gardens of the Moon, the first book in a ten book series by Steven Erickson. Now, I love fantasy, but ten books sounded a bit much... and the more reviews I read, the more it sounded like it would not be my thing. Main characters introduced in one book only to disappear for a few more before resurfacing? Plotlines introduced, abandoned, then picked up again volumes later? That sounds frustrating to me. Add in that it sounds like it has twenty or so 'lead' characters, and I think not.

But what really really killed it for me was this quote. I hate sentences like this. They may sound great, but when you take it apart, it makes no sense. I hate that people get applauded for it -- where has reading comprehension gone?  These books are apparently chock full of sentences like this one, and that would drive me bonkers.

Date: 2011-10-04 12:29 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] yuenmei.livejournal.com
I'm too frustrated to even vote. I loathe Erikson. The first PAGE of the first book is devoted to describing ONE WEATHERVANE in the most complicated, annoying language ever. It ANGERS me.

Date: 2011-10-04 01:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
I found the fact that the first book of a series which reputedly adds new characters to each volume had three pages of 'dramatis personae' ridiculous in the extreme.

It's on sale for 2.99 on Kindle but I will be saving my 2.99.

Date: 2011-10-04 12:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] laura-josephsen.livejournal.com
I was going to go with option number 2, but given that I had to read the sentence about ten times to try to sort it out, I went for the first option.

I don't mind long series--heck, I'm co-writing a long series--but I do like to understand what I'm reading. O_o

Date: 2011-10-04 01:38 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
It just doesn't make sense; if it makes sense, it's because you let your brain ignore words. That's what happened to me after several read-throughs; if I ignore the word 'imagined' it makes sense. It's still a horrendous sentence, but it makes sense.

Ten books at 666 pages each is a lot. That's not just a long series, that's... ridiculously epic.

Date: 2011-10-04 01:23 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] kokoronagomu.livejournal.com
a tower has sardonic reserve...

a fork has patient goodwill.

one makes as much sense as the other.

i can't take option number one because although it makes no sense it does in no way resemble 'pretty'.

Date: 2011-10-04 01:39 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
LOL. The words aren't ugly, just the way they're strung together. ;)

Date: 2011-10-04 01:40 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] kokoronagomu.livejournal.com
...floating down the sound resounds around the icy waters underground...

pink floyd lyrics make more sense.

Date: 2011-10-04 03:32 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] lrdrandallslady.livejournal.com
Legal-ease makes more sense to me than this garbage. It's like he took as many big, fancy words as he could and strung them together to make it look like he's some well-educated, well-read god of the English language but instead, he ends up looking like a fool to those of the rest of us with a bit of common sense. I went with option #4 and that was after too many read throughs and looking at my choice of answers.

I do wonder... in the review in which this was quoted, was the reviewer using it as an example of good or bad writing? Just curious :)

Date: 2011-10-04 06:20 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
Well, the question's answer are somewhat biased as they are the meanings I could come up with after staring at it for some time. ^^; I am enjoying the fact that there's no consensus of what it means.

In the review, the reviewer was saying that he'd made it 250 pages and gave up because the whole thing was filled with sentences like this. And then after quoting it he asked 'what does that even mean?' ;)

On the other hand, in the comments on his review there was a lady saying (rather snottily) that she could understand the sentence just fine, and that it only sounded strange out of context because we didn't know what 'the tower' and 'Majesty Hall' were. She then went on to say that she found it quite elegant and sophisticated, but that she was a reader of the classics.

So of course I had to reply and explain that making sense out of it doesn't make it elegant, and the problem with it was that (a) it was too long and should be either truncated or restructured and (b) it includes words that have meaning that contradict other words in the same sentence and (c) the narrator's voice seems to change halfway through.

Date: 2011-10-04 04:54 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] jamethiel
jamethiel: A woman sits in front of a bookshelf, hiding the lower half of her face with an open book (Reading)
The problem with this sentence is it is a comma splice. Each sentence is complete in and of itself, and it changes subjects halfway through.

(I would never let this by if I was a beta)

The correct version would be:
Crokus shared something of the tower's imagined sardonic reserve for the pretense so rife in Majesty Hall. This emotion of his uncle's that had seeped into the lad (Beta note: EPITHETS MUST DIE) Crokus over the years.

It's still as clunky as all hell. If this is third person limited, he's completely failed to convey it effectively, if it's third person impartial, WHY GOD WHY?!? (Third person impartial is notoriously hard to do well, and few people are Jane Austen or Tolkien.)

In summation: bad writing.

Date: 2011-10-04 06:11 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
Very bad writing. And people on Amazon were calling this 'elegant' and 'sophisticated'. *head desk*

Mind you, I don't have a problem with epithets if they fit and make sense. That means there has to be a reason other than 'I felt like it'... and I can see no reason to use 'the lad' in that sentence.

Date: 2011-10-04 02:34 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] quoth-the-ravyn.livejournal.com
@_@


Okay, I can read complicates crap. Comes with my English degree, but wtf? What is the point of that? I mean, clearly someone has to enjoy it, or it wouldn't have been published, but that just... that's egotistical writing is pretty much the only name I have for that.

How is that even enjoyable?

Date: 2011-10-04 06:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
This. So much THIS.

And it's enjoyable (I guess) if you don't actually try to comprehend what you're reading, and just think it sounds nice. I've encountered so so many books like this in the last few years, and it annoys me everytime.

Date: 2011-10-04 04:18 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] elanor-pam.livejournal.com
I stabbed at a meaning, but seriously, it sounds more like a bot strung some words together.

Date: 2011-10-04 06:07 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] sekiharatae.livejournal.com
LOL. Yes, it does. You are absolutely correct.

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