FFVII Dirty Minds -- ROTFL

[sekiharatae]

Anyone ever played the game 'Dirty Minds'?  The subtitle is 'the game of naughty clues'.  Basically, it's a sort of word game, but the clues are all innuendos, so the challenge is to think of something innocent that meets the criteria.

Here's a sample question:

I last a long time when conditions are right.
You never know how many inches you'll get.
You never know when I'm going to come.

Answer:  A snowstorm.

So... I'm working on a fic (for reasons that are a mix of altruisim and annoyance) where the FFVII characters play a version.  Probably while drunk.  ~.~  I was going to make it HP, but I had more inspiration with FFVII (go figure).  

I was wondering if any of these work?  (i.e. are they funny, and can you guess them)

Item 1:
I am a force of nature.
I get better with experience.
Sometimes, my balls are blue.

Item 2:
I've been used by an army.
I'm the best of my kind.
I can take you higher than you've ever been.

Item 3:
I’m better when I’m bigger.
Use me too much, and you’ll get sore.
I have an impressive length.

Item 4:
I’m good with my hands.
Money’s no object.
I like to play with battery-powered toys.

Item 5:
I’ll eat anything.
I’m huge but ridiculously quick.
I can even swallow the big boys whole.

Item 6:
I'm not very bright.
I'm a juicy little thing.
You're not satisfied until you get to my core.
 
Item 7:
I'm known for my endurance.
I can do it anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
My pecker is impressive.

Item 8:
I'm wet, but I'm not water.
When the earth moves,  I overflow.
I've taken lots of people, but I'm always ready for more.

Item 9:
I'm designed for penetration.
I have a long shaft.
My head is my most vulnerable spot.


If you have suggestions, those are welcome, too.  Comments are screened.

 

Comments

[yuenmei.livejournal.com]

My guesses!

1) Materia!
2) The Highwind?
3) The Buster Sword?
4)?
5) Behemoth?
6) ?
7) Chocobo!
8) The lifestream
9) ?

They are all funny :) I like them. What are the answers?

trying to guess!

[elanor-pam.livejournal.com]

1 - Materia
2 - The Gelnika or the Highwind
3 - ...the Masamune?
4 - Cait Sith?
5 - Midgar Zolom!
6 - orz I feel like I should know this one... reactor?
7 - Golden Chocobo
8 - Mako
9 - Either a sword or a drill. XD;;

I'M TOO SLEEPY FOR THIS.