FFVII Dirty Minds -- ROTFL

[sekiharatae]

Anyone ever played the game 'Dirty Minds'?  The subtitle is 'the game of naughty clues'.  Basically, it's a sort of word game, but the clues are all innuendos, so the challenge is to think of something innocent that meets the criteria.

Here's a sample question:

I last a long time when conditions are right.
You never know how many inches you'll get.
You never know when I'm going to come.

Answer:  A snowstorm.

So... I'm working on a fic (for reasons that are a mix of altruisim and annoyance) where the FFVII characters play a version.  Probably while drunk.  ~.~  I was going to make it HP, but I had more inspiration with FFVII (go figure).  

I was wondering if any of these work?  (i.e. are they funny, and can you guess them)

Item 1:
I am a force of nature.
I get better with experience.
Sometimes, my balls are blue.

Item 2:
I've been used by an army.
I'm the best of my kind.
I can take you higher than you've ever been.

Item 3:
I’m better when I’m bigger.
Use me too much, and you’ll get sore.
I have an impressive length.

Item 4:
I’m good with my hands.
Money’s no object.
I like to play with battery-powered toys.

Item 5:
I’ll eat anything.
I’m huge but ridiculously quick.
I can even swallow the big boys whole.

Item 6:
I'm not very bright.
I'm a juicy little thing.
You're not satisfied until you get to my core.
 
Item 7:
I'm known for my endurance.
I can do it anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
My pecker is impressive.

Item 8:
I'm wet, but I'm not water.
When the earth moves,  I overflow.
I've taken lots of people, but I'm always ready for more.

Item 9:
I'm designed for penetration.
I have a long shaft.
My head is my most vulnerable spot.


If you have suggestions, those are welcome, too.  Comments are screened.

 

Comments

[yuenmei.livejournal.com]

My guesses!

1) Materia!
2) The Highwind?
3) The Buster Sword?
4)?
5) Behemoth?
6) ?
7) Chocobo!
8) The lifestream
9) ?

They are all funny :) I like them. What are the answers?

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

Answers!

1. Materia
2. The Shera (I'd take Highwind, too, though)
3. Was thinking swords in general, so that works
4. Reeve
5. I was thinking Zolom
6. Banora dumb apple from Crisis Core
7. Yes!
8. Yes!
9. Cid's spear(s) Hubby thinks the very tip of the spear isn't necessarily all that breakable, though.

trying to guess!

[elanor-pam.livejournal.com]

1 - Materia
2 - The Gelnika or the Highwind
3 - ...the Masamune?
4 - Cait Sith?
5 - Midgar Zolom!
6 - orz I feel like I should know this one... reactor?
7 - Golden Chocobo
8 - Mako
9 - Either a sword or a drill. XD;;

I'M TOO SLEEPY FOR THIS.

Re: trying to guess!

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

LOL. Why were you doing it if you were sleepy? ;)

1. Yes.
2. Shera, so close
3. Swords in general, so close
4. Reeve
5. Yes!
6. Banora dumb apple from crisis core
7. yes!
8. Lifestream, so yes
9. Cid's spear