*bangs head on desk*

[sekiharatae]

Dear self:

What is wrong with you?  You're six and a half pages in from 'words aren't the only way', and the only clothing you've managed to get the characters to remove are gloves, bracers, and Tifa's shoes.  windrider1  asked for Cloud taking his time, but this seems a bit extravagant.  Get a move on!

Frustrated,

Yourself

P.S. We're leaving in an hour to pick Sae up from the airport, so I'm not kidding.  Hurry up!

...I think my problem is that I picture things happening in a very clear fashion in my head, and I don't want the reader to envision it differently.  So -- as a for instance -- if I have Cloud crouch down, and then a few sentences later Tifa slips into his lap, then I have to write description explaining that he is no longer crouching, or risk the reader thinking he's crouching with her in his lap, which would be weird.  Makes me wonder if I'm doing too much telling and not enough showing, though.  Maybe I'm being too thorough with my descriptions?

(Maybe Sae will beta for me when she gets here????)

Also, as a side note, it's possible that sex makes Cloud pessimistic.  (O.o)  Quoted from the game script:

Before nookie:  Whether they are or not, we still have to do what we can. And believe in ourselves...

After nookie:  This is probably the last time we'll have together...

Bad translation, or has all the optimism left his system?  You decide!

Comments

[osirissconsort.livejournal.com]

Miss Tae, at the point someone starts complaining about too much detail in your smutfic, they can be slapped. Multiple times.
Take your time, write what you want--by all means, go into exquisite agonizing detail, because heaven only knows I love you for that--and know that we all eagerly await anything you produce.
Also, it would appear Cloud is either immune to post-coital endorphins, or someone can't translate. DUMMIES.

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^_^

[http://users.livejournal.com/jane_drew_/]

I am giggling madly at the thought of Tifa noticing that Cloud's afterglow isn't really all that glowy.

(on the other hand, she said, from a position of NO playing the game ever.... is it possible that Cloud's thought process went from "that was awesome!" to "I would really like to do that again, repeatedly, possibly in a proper bed..." to ".... except, of course, for the fact that the world might end and we're probably all going to die"-- heck, at this point, breakfast might be making Cloud pessimistic)

[elanor-pam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this. Knowing that they might never get to do it again would put a huge damper on things. XD

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

ROTFL

Also, this is what my husband said, too. XD

[ocvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

--Sniffles-- 'Words Aren't the Only Way' is the name of my smut folder... T.T Anyway, I do love any smut you van churn out. Take your time with detail. Yout Cloti stuff owns.

-Valk

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[windrider1.livejournal.com]

Good god, don't stress. I'm in no hurry for your awesomeness!! i am eager, but no pressure. I'm just like **OMGFLAILSPAZZ** that you're doing this!! **dances**

Also, nope. Sex makes Cloud friendly.

Game (when everyone arrives back on the Highwind): Cloud
"Welcome back, Yuffie."

Yuffie
"Gee, Cloud...... that's so nice of you to say that. ......You
sick?"

At this Cloud rocks back on his heels and grins smugly but you know, pixels. It's unclear what he's so smug about, lol ;)

"The last time we'll have together" isn't fatalistic, it's in reference to the last moments he and Tifa will spend together before the battle. Which is why he savors them and goes back to sleep with her. Bad translation, no; out of context, yes.

And that concludes today's portion of "wow, she's been in that fandom waaaaaaaaaaaay too long".

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

I was kidding! *doesn't really think it depresses him* I do think he's a bit doomy and gloomy, especially in context. Could be his goofiness with words (he doesn't mean to be a downer, but his phrasing is still a reminder that they could die), could be a translation gaffe (of which there are plenty), or -- as hubby suggests -- he could be trying to guilt Tifa into doing it again. ;)

I figure it's some of all three together. well, maybe not the guilt, but the doing it again part

[knit-lace.livejournal.com]

I think thorough descriptions, if not verbose, are necessary when it comes to any physical/action scene, so the reader can get what they're doing. Perhaps using some activity/position from sports (0.o) reader are familiar with as visual guides would help.

@pessimism: I think it's in his character to be pessimistic after something good happened to him. Like Nomura said, "the happier he's with Tifa and the kids, the lonelier he becomes."
But Tifa was pessimistic as well since she also believed that would be their last moment together.

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

This is a very very good point!

[iskra-revoir.livejournal.com]

It´s hard to keep a story flowing at a nice pace while trying to be detailed, but you have a gift for achieving just that in your storys and that is one of the things I love the most in your writing.
That´s why I´m sure you will present yet another wonderful story :)

[sekiharatae.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for both the compliment and the encouragement. :)

[kotono.livejournal.com]

http://kotono.livejournal.com/178101.html
Tifa in Dissidia!