Don't Feed the Squirrels -- an Object Lesson

This is a World-of-Warcraft related story, but I think it will probably be amusing even if you haven't played the game...


The Food

Critter Bites are an item players can cook and then feed/throw to small animals (like squirrels) to make them follow you around.  There's no limit -- other than time and availability of critters -- to how many you can have treating you like the pied-piper.

The Setup

 

Late one night this weekend I went on a mount run to Magister's Terrace with some of my guild mates (all friends I know in real life from the East coast).  We're all level 80, so even on heroic difficulty it's an easy run, even without a full group (we were one person short). 

I was drugged up on vicodin -- and I'm easily amused -- so I was building myself a squirrel army.  Every squirrel I encountered I fed a critter bite, and I had maybe a handful of them following me.  Just before the tank pulled the next  Arcane Guardian, I spotted a squirrel standing next to a group of mobs.

Briefly, I hesitated. 

Mr. Squirrel was very close to the mobs.  However, Egbert wanders all around and never gets in trouble; Stinker will chase any cat available all over the place without aggroing anyone, and the Spring Rabbit pops out baby rabbits that are always taken in stride.

I tossed the squirrel a critter bite.

The Fallout

Mr. Squirrel was instantly converted and prepared to join my army.  Before he had a chance to scamper over, the mobs he was standing next to became infuriated, turned as one, and smote his furry little butt.  He barely had time to squeak.

I play a hunter class as my main.  This means I get a combat pet to help me kill things.  Since vanity pets are immune to damage, I've never had a pet get killed by a mob before... but now I know:  if it happens, my combat pet takes it personally.

My pet wolf dashed over and bit one of the mobs in retaliation.  This, of course, made them even angrier.  Worse, they were close enough to the next group of mobs that they came charging over, too. 

So it's around 10 to 1 against my wolf.

Meanwhile, the tank had pulled the arcane guardian, so all the drama with my pet and the squirrel and the mobs was happening behind the rest of my group.  (I do ranged damage as a hunter, so I'm further back than the rest.) 

My friends were quite surprised to have ten angry mobs descend upon them out of nowhere.  My pet and I, of course, went down first.  I was main dps, so it got ugly -- and more out of hand -- after I died.    Soon, the entire group was dead, and everyone (except me) was wondering why.
 

The Aftermath

I'm getting a lot of flack about the 'Squirrel Pull' -- despite the fact that everyone laughed for a good ten minutes.  (I was crying I was laughing so hard.)

The guild message of the day was changed to 'No More Squirrels For You.'

Squirrels in dungeons we've run since have been marked with skull icons.

And nobody will let me forget my moment of stupidity.